Late Night Advice

 

I received two questions on another social media site that’s not related to this blog but I thought I’d share it here too to see if it may help guide anyone if you are experiencing a similar issue.

# 1 – I am thinking about entering a new long distance relationship. I don’t know if I should take the risk and see what happens or cut it off now? It’s only a few hours away but I don’t know how to maintain this type of relationship?  

It’s not impossible nor is it easy but that shouldn’t deter you from taking a risk and moving forward with this. You said a new long distance relationship and I am unsure on whether you mean that you two have just started dating or this is a new journey in a previous relationship. Either way you shouldn’t be afraid to take a chance at it. There are no perfect instructions on how to balance living away from each other while keeping your romance alive but this is where technology really comes in handy. I’m sure you have heard of skyping and the usual phone calls and text messages. Maybe you can set aside some time where you both know you’ll be free to make it your “you” time. Talk, chat, go old school and send love letters. There are ways of being creative here. It will be a new adjustment if this is a continued relationship but it could lead to the possibility of learning more about each other. Some couples want to be with one another every second of the day and others need some space to prevent themselves from killing each other. You’ll find out your own preferences with this new arrangement. I do have a guy friend who lives a few hours away and he surprised me a few months ago by driving all the way to see me on very short notice. I found it super sweet because it’s not like he lives right around the corner. In any type of relationship there will always have to be some dedication in order to make it work. I think if you can set up some ways of keeping in touch on a daily basis but also bearing in mind that you both will have your own lives back home to tend to then you will be able to handle it. There’s only one way to find out and that’s by taking a leap! I wish you the best of luck and I hope you check back in to keep us updated.

# 2 – I really enjoy spending time around this guy I know but I don’t know to tell him that I feel this way. Any suggestions on how to approach the topic without coming off as a total idiot. I get nervous around him lol

Oh sweetheart, welcome to my world. I’ve been in this boat. I’m actually peddling the damn boat right about now ha. I don’t know if there is a perfect way to go about it. I’m still trying to figure out how not to just blurt out random things like “ I like your face. Marry me? “ because that would probably wouldn’t go super well. I think you might just have to go for it. Collect your feelings ( as well as you can which I know is super hard to do if you really like someone ) and take some time aside with him. Maybe start off slow like indicating that you would like to hang out more often or compliment him and get his reaction. Go from there and just take the plunge if things look like they are going well. I know it’s really difficult but I believe you can do it! Maybe he is thinking the same things but he gets nervous around you too. And don’t be discouraged if things are awkward because they might be if you both are shy and like each other. I’ve had this happened and then I get all embarrassed but in a way it’s cute. There is that quote “ my father told me once to never date anyone who talks smoothly around you from the start because if someone likes you they should be a little nervous and honestly i think that’s some of the best advice anyone has ever given me” that was floating around a few months ago and I honestly love it. I think it’s true. I’d rather have someone stumble over words than someone who knows all the lines because it feels like it means more that way. But some are just naturally smooth talkers so maybe it depends on the person. Keep me updated on how it goes – and if you have any pointers send them my way. I’m going to need some haha

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