More than one?

# 1 – My sister finds it odd that I only have one close friend but it’s just how my life turned out and I don’t mind.

 

I decided to make this into a single advice column topic today because I was thinking about this a few weeks ago because I too only have one super close friend. Sometimes, I ask myself if it is odd but that’s only in moments of pressure coming from outsiders. I really don’t mind either. I think this notion that we have to be best friends with everyone stems from those middle school and high school years where the idea is that the more friends you have the more popular you are. I had a very close friend who made a point of always saying how she wished she had more friends or that she wanted to be part of the popular group. I don’t even think she realized how hurtful those comments were to hear because it made me feel as though I wasn’t doing enough as a best friend. I didn’t feel appreciated and that did take a toll on our friendship. I just wasn’t in the same mindset as her and that’s alright. I don’t judge people who have larger amounts of friends because that’s how they live their life and that is totally fine. I just find that for myself I am alright having one or two close friends. I like to spend my time doing things I enjoy and I’ve found in the past that this was a problem for some people I associated with. I don’t blame them for not understanding but this came into play as I decided who I really wanted to be friends with verses who I did not. My best friend knows that we live separate lives and that doesn’t interfere with the groundwork of our friendship. I do enjoy spending time with immediate members of my family. I do have work to get done. I’m not into drinking or excessive partying. When we were younger we all said a lot of stuff even if we didn’t know what we were really saying. The visions we had for ourselves were just thoughts at the time. As you grow older you gain freedom to do those things and you may realize that your previous friendships just don’t mesh anymore. I had to learn this with my friends. We swore we were going to be best friends forever but things change. We were very different but I think the main reason we stuck together was because of those school years and the pressure to have a support system – even if it wasn’t the healthiest of one’s. It is wonderful to have certain people you can go to in times of need but that might come down to one person and that is perfectly acceptable. Don’t feel like you have to listen to your sister on this one. If it is working for you then just keeping doing what you are doing.

 

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